Going With Your Gut

I've only recently become the kind of person who heeds her gut instinct when dealing with people from the past.
I got an email yesterday from a woman claiming to be someone I went to college with in the early 1980s. This woman, whom we will call "PIN," for Pain in the Neck, was a real piece of work when I met her. She had few friends because she was, to be honest, strange in both her manner and her dress, especially for small town Iowa collegiate life. She had a form of epilepsy that made her seem to "go away" from her conscious mind when she was having a seizure, so one minute she'd be talking to you, and the next she'd be staring vacantly ahead, unable to move her body or talk. Someone would have to grab her by the arm and walk her back to her dorm room and lock her in until she would "wake" up. One time, I recall that she couldn't be moved or woken up for three whole days, during which time she lay in a soiled bed staring, glassy-eyed, at the ceiling, looking like a corpse. When she was awake, so to speak, she wasn't really a very nice person, instead she was often sarcastic, rude and mean, which she seemed to think made her smart and witty. I befriended her because I knew what it was like to be the outsider, the one people considered strange and different because I was creative, a larger person, and smart enough to enjoy reading and literature.
I discovered that it wasn't that easy to be PINs friend. She was often loud and obnoxious, and she had no problem borrowing money from me (never returned, of course) and calling me at all hours of the day and night, and rambling on about her problems or things she wondered about that usually didn't make much sense. I asked her, many times, if she wouldn't mind calling me during the day, or talking to me at lunch or some more convenient time for me, as I don't do well without a full 6-8 hours of sleep. And I often got called by PIN at 3 am when I had a test the next day. She cared nothing for my protests or pleas, however, and would shout "Wake up, soggy bread!" whenever I'd doze off during one of her diatribes. She refused to listen to any of my problems, of course, lest we get off her favorite subject--herself. She was a taker, and, having grown up as the middle child-problem-solver of my family, I ended up being the giver who got taken advantage of, over and over. I didn't have a clue how to say no back then. Several friends, including my best buddies Monica and Muff, often told me that I needed to listen to my gut and jettison people who abused my friendship. "You are not responsible for other peoples happiness!" I recall Monica telling me that, and Muff saying "Stop being a doormat, tell people NO once in awhile!"
So I finally listened to my gut one night my senior year, and I told PIN in no uncertain terms that I did NOT want her calling me at odd hours any more. Period. She threatened me to try and get me to fall back into line by saying that she would contact my mother, go to lunch with her and lie to her, telling her of all sorts of sordid sexual exploits I was supposed to have achieved while in college. Knowing that my stock hadn't risen with my mother since I didn't 'side' with her in her very messy divorce from my father 3 years earlier, I told PIN to go right ahead, she couldn't tarnish my reputation any more than it already was. I was allowed blessed nights of sleep without interruption thereafter. She sent me photos of herself with my mother at lunch, and I asked my mother what they talked about, but she refused to tell me. My mother, at the time, was more focused on her marriage to my new stepfather and her new home in the Southwest. Our relationship didn't really seem to suffer at all, so I dismissed the incident as no big deal. Then I get an email from PIN saying she's been thinking a lot about me lately. Huh. So I wrote and asked her if she was the same person who had epilepsy, who used to call me at all hours of the night and who had the ill-fated luncheon with my mother. I explained that I am now a wife, mother and successful journalist who really doesn't have time for 3 am phone calls. In other words, I've grown up, and I'm no longer a doormat. PIN didn't take to those comments, naturally, and said that I'm not the person she once knew. I wanted to say, damn straight, chica, I am not going to be used by takers like you again. She promised not to write back to me ever again, and I can only say that I will be relieved if I never do hear from her again. She was a waste of time and energy, and certainly not a good friend to me.
In exercise news, I worked out 6 times this week! Woot! Todays spin class was still tough, though, after yesterdays overeating festival of soy pizza, molasses cookies, potato salad and ham. I had fun watching movies on DVD while pigging out, though.

Not Again!

This past week I had a sore throat and stuffy nose, so I spent 5 hours Thursday at the local Urgent Care facility (my primary care physician is in the hospital and her cohorts are booked for weeks), only to hear that my x-ray showed patches of pneumonia in my chest, again! ARG! I was hoping after having pneumonia in November and December that I was done with it for awhile.
Why can't I just have strep throat like everyone else?
But I have taken my Zithromax and feel like I am on the mend, so now its back to working out. My husband and son sat on me for three days to keep me from exercising when I was sick. I did manage to attend spin class with the adorable Angela on Sunday, and I was wiped out by the time class was over.
I'm going to be following two gals, one ten pounds heavier than I am, and one about ten pounds lighter, for the next 8 weeks for the Commit 2 Fit program sponsored by Road Runner Sports in Kent. I am looking forward to chronicling their journey and hopefully learning some tips to help me in my quest for fitness at the same time.
Over 60 people showed up at the kick off event last Thursday, 99 percent women and one brave guy. All were weighed and measured and had digital gait analysis to get them fit for athletic shoes. Sharon, the nutritionist, started everyone off on building 8 good habits for healthy lifestyles by admonishing them all to drink a lot of water this week and keep track of everything they eat. She's going to evaluate everyones diet and talk about where improvements can be made thursday this week. I imagine Sharon would be shocked if she could see that I eat a bowl of cereal with sugar for a snack usually once a day. So its my one sugar fix, but I have a hard time giving it up. That is probably why those 4 pounds that found me during the holidays haven't left my hips yet. Sigh.
Tonight its cardio lift with Suzanne. I hope I can breathe through the class.