"Why am I soft in the middle now when the rest of my life is so hard?" from Call Me Al by Paul Simon
I try not to make a lot of resolutions, generally, because I don't want to mess up and have to pick up the pieces by May, but this year is different. I am certain that there are great things on the horizon in 2009, and I feel a sense of optimism in the air after the long dark night of the soul (and wallet) that was 2008.
So herein are my 2009 Resolutions, to whit:
1)As the song says, I need a little less hard times, I need a little more bliss. I intend to do things this year that are purely for pleasure and fun, regardless of whether or not they fit in with the rest of my plans. I need to get out of mourning and into the joy of living. I don't know what it will take, whether it will be some travel to Scotland, some serious canoodling with my hubby, a few visits to Book It Rep Theater, or just a few more stacks of good books to read (and the time to read them in), but I will do whatever it takes to ease the frown lines on my face, the hollow point in my heart where my best friend used to be, and the eternal ache in my colon and lower back. Even teatime with my friend Janine will be more of a priority on my joy list this year. I want to laugh, sing and do my thing!
2) 53 pounds are coming off this upholstered belly, if I have to kidnap a liposuctionist to get it off! Seriously, I have the food plan in action, I have the work out schedule down to a science, now all I need is for my fat cells to cooperate.
3) I will try to be more loving and patient with my family. My husband is not an easy man to live with, and my son is just as frustrating, especially when it comes to doing his homework or getting to bed on time or getting up in the morning, or brushing his teeth...you get the idea. When I get frustrated with lack of cooperation, I get mad. Granted, I don't have a hair trigger temper, but once my ire is roused, I'm told I go off like Mt Vesuvius. I need to learn to chill out, take a deep breath and try to put it in perspective...will it matter in 10 years?
4) I will get my Crohns under control. So far its been a rough year for my intestines, but I insist that they get back to being quiescent and not forcing me to sit in the bathroom for hours on end. I am tired of staring at the broken tiles on the bathroom floor, and trying to read some excellent SF magazine stories to keep my mind off the pain. I am tired of pain pills that make me groggy and emotional. I want to be normal, or as close to it as possible. I want to do an ab crunch without breaking wind!
5)I want to see my mom and Lloyd this year, along with Jim and Nick, because they've not seen Nick for 5 years, and that's too long to not lay eyes on your only grandchild. He needs to connect with his grandparents before they pass away, and Lloyd is 90 years old. My dad is 76, and in poor health. I worry that they won't get a chance to see how Nick has grown if they don't do it soon.
That's about it! Remember, we'll all be fine in 2009!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Holiday Work Outs
This has been a difficult holiday season for working out.
The weather has been unusually atrocious this year, with snow up over our rumps for an entire week!
Cabin fever was rampant at my house, as my husband, son and I couldn't get out of the driveway, let alone go to work, get to the store, or do much of anything else. The day before Christmas eve I tried walking into town and discovered that the side of the road (there are no sidewalks on Witte Road, which is a main thoroughfare in Maple Valley) was piled high with filthy brown snow that had a layer of crunchy ice on top, just to make it that much more difficult to walk through. But, as I was wading along, a nice guy in a Humvee stopped, insisted on taking me the rest of the way to the grocery store, and then told me I should find a friend with an SUV to drive me back. (I actually met up with a member of the MV Library Guild while in line at the store and she and her husband kindly agreed to take me and my groceries home..what a relief!) But when we could get out, I did my best to get to the Work It Out gym and use the elliptical machine for 45 minutes to an hour and then use the weight machines to keep building upper body strength. Yes, after working out for two years, I do have "guns" but they're still pudgy guns.
I also tried to keep from gorging on sweets, but I failed at least four times. I had vegan oatmeal raisin cookies over my birthday, then I had vegan lemon cookies, then I had a tofu cheesecake (though I didn't eat all of any of these dishes, I made sure I shared with neighbors, friends and family) and on Dec 26th I went to see "The Tale of Despereaux" with my son and he insisted we get popcorn and root beer, in addition to a box of sour patch kids for him to eat during the movie. I ate probably a couple of cups of popcorn and drank around 14 ounces of root beer, but lordy, did I feel sick all night afterwards! Popcorn has a lot of fiber, and root beer has too much sugary fizz, so I spent the night with my colon smacking around my insides and my stomach feeling like I'd swallowed a live badger...ouch! Next time I go see a movie, I am getting a very small bag of popcorn and drinking water with it, no matter how my son begs for soda!
Yet, despite all the holiday sugar noshing, I've lost 11 pounds in the last 8 weeks, which isn't too bad, especially considering the abbreviated workout schedule due to weather and holiday closure.
I will, I admit, be thrilled to get back to my usual schedule of Monday balls and weights class, Tuesday walking, Pilates and spin classes, Wednesday spin class, Thursdays off and Friday elliptical machine and weights, followed by Sunday spin. I am supposed to make it to Saturday morning cardio lift, but I often skip it because I love to sleep in on Saturdays. Once the pressure to make sweets is off, hopefully I will be able to keep them out of my weekly diet plan. I am on SparkPeople every day, writing down everything I eat and trying to keep to 1,500 calories or below and 210 grams of carbs a day. I often read the Sparkpages of others and read the message boards about how hard other gals have struggled to lose weight. It's always inspiring to read their accounts and realize that I am not alone.
I got a brand new pedometer for Christmas (we still haven't figured out how it works, however) to replace the one that I got for my birthday that I washed in the washing machine, which doesn't work too well anymore.
The snow is slowly melting, and with it my excuses for not taking a 3 to 4 mile walk with my Zune tuned to all those great songs from the 80s and 90s. One of my goals for the new year, besides losing another 53 pounds, is to walk more often and drink at least a liter of water a day. I need to find a walking buddy to go with me, or a diet buddy to discuss all the trials and tribulations of weight loss. I need to be more patient with myself, and try not to see my flaws as readily as I do, and to celebrate my successes, even though they're slow in coming, and often one or two pounds at a time. Every time I turn down a sweet snack, I need to learn to praise myself for being tough and looking at my long term goals.
Anyway, I got a new purple coat that is warm and waterproof for my birthday (size 1X, three sizes smaller than I was a couple of years ago) and I also got a pair of warm boots, so now I can walk without fear of inclement weather...huzzah!
The weather has been unusually atrocious this year, with snow up over our rumps for an entire week!
Cabin fever was rampant at my house, as my husband, son and I couldn't get out of the driveway, let alone go to work, get to the store, or do much of anything else. The day before Christmas eve I tried walking into town and discovered that the side of the road (there are no sidewalks on Witte Road, which is a main thoroughfare in Maple Valley) was piled high with filthy brown snow that had a layer of crunchy ice on top, just to make it that much more difficult to walk through. But, as I was wading along, a nice guy in a Humvee stopped, insisted on taking me the rest of the way to the grocery store, and then told me I should find a friend with an SUV to drive me back. (I actually met up with a member of the MV Library Guild while in line at the store and she and her husband kindly agreed to take me and my groceries home..what a relief!) But when we could get out, I did my best to get to the Work It Out gym and use the elliptical machine for 45 minutes to an hour and then use the weight machines to keep building upper body strength. Yes, after working out for two years, I do have "guns" but they're still pudgy guns.
I also tried to keep from gorging on sweets, but I failed at least four times. I had vegan oatmeal raisin cookies over my birthday, then I had vegan lemon cookies, then I had a tofu cheesecake (though I didn't eat all of any of these dishes, I made sure I shared with neighbors, friends and family) and on Dec 26th I went to see "The Tale of Despereaux" with my son and he insisted we get popcorn and root beer, in addition to a box of sour patch kids for him to eat during the movie. I ate probably a couple of cups of popcorn and drank around 14 ounces of root beer, but lordy, did I feel sick all night afterwards! Popcorn has a lot of fiber, and root beer has too much sugary fizz, so I spent the night with my colon smacking around my insides and my stomach feeling like I'd swallowed a live badger...ouch! Next time I go see a movie, I am getting a very small bag of popcorn and drinking water with it, no matter how my son begs for soda!
Yet, despite all the holiday sugar noshing, I've lost 11 pounds in the last 8 weeks, which isn't too bad, especially considering the abbreviated workout schedule due to weather and holiday closure.
I will, I admit, be thrilled to get back to my usual schedule of Monday balls and weights class, Tuesday walking, Pilates and spin classes, Wednesday spin class, Thursdays off and Friday elliptical machine and weights, followed by Sunday spin. I am supposed to make it to Saturday morning cardio lift, but I often skip it because I love to sleep in on Saturdays. Once the pressure to make sweets is off, hopefully I will be able to keep them out of my weekly diet plan. I am on SparkPeople every day, writing down everything I eat and trying to keep to 1,500 calories or below and 210 grams of carbs a day. I often read the Sparkpages of others and read the message boards about how hard other gals have struggled to lose weight. It's always inspiring to read their accounts and realize that I am not alone.
I got a brand new pedometer for Christmas (we still haven't figured out how it works, however) to replace the one that I got for my birthday that I washed in the washing machine, which doesn't work too well anymore.
The snow is slowly melting, and with it my excuses for not taking a 3 to 4 mile walk with my Zune tuned to all those great songs from the 80s and 90s. One of my goals for the new year, besides losing another 53 pounds, is to walk more often and drink at least a liter of water a day. I need to find a walking buddy to go with me, or a diet buddy to discuss all the trials and tribulations of weight loss. I need to be more patient with myself, and try not to see my flaws as readily as I do, and to celebrate my successes, even though they're slow in coming, and often one or two pounds at a time. Every time I turn down a sweet snack, I need to learn to praise myself for being tough and looking at my long term goals.
Anyway, I got a new purple coat that is warm and waterproof for my birthday (size 1X, three sizes smaller than I was a couple of years ago) and I also got a pair of warm boots, so now I can walk without fear of inclement weather...huzzah!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
My birthday gut feelings
Tomorrow, December 12, is my 48th birthday.
Baring a midlife crisis, I am trying to actually reflect on where I have been, where I am going, what it all means and how I am doing right now, scorecard wise, on the human, parental, career and life scales.
First up for consideration, my weight loss this past year. While not stellar, as it was when I was 28, (100 pounds in a year) 45 pounds is nothing to sniff at. My legs, thighs, butt and hips are all looking pretty good. My face has slimmed down, too, and my arms aren't as wattled as they once were. Gravity has had its way with me in the last 20 years, however, and my sagging breasts and drooping belly are a testament to that. I am trying to accept them with as much grace as possible, but its still difficult to face the lack of firmness on my torso when I bust a gut with ab exercises 4 times a week or more. I know there are muscles under that chub, I can feel them when I work out, but they're not going to be evident until 60 pounds fall off my person. And I am impatient enough about that to have daydreams of liposuction.
Which brings me to why those daydreams will stay just dreams; the death of my career in journalism. In case you've been hiding under a rock all year (and I can't say I'd blame you if you did, this year has SUCKED, big time) you might not have read the gruesome daily reports of newspapers and magazines closing, downsizing staff, cutting paper size and frequency of print runs, and publishing houses going under with alarming regularity. In short, the economy stinks, we're in a lousy recession that feels more like the second 'great depression' and there are a LOT of people out of work, broke and without prospects for employment any time soon. So I should be grateful (and I am, really) that my husband has a job, that we have managed to hang onto our house by our fingernails, and that we are able to eat regularly. My Crohns medications are costing us a fortune each week, and our crappy insurance won't cover them for more than a month, so unless the pharmaceutical company decides to have mercy on us and allow us a deep discount on Pentasa, that financial hemorage isn't going to change, unfortunately. At any rate, this has been my worst year yet as a freelance writer/reporter. I have only worked on brief projects and one-time articles that have yielded me all of maybe a thousand dollars over the course of the year. The year prior I was able to get a couple of larger projects that saved the day, financially speaking, but this year legitimate freelance work has been hard to come by, though there have been hordes of scam artists and sleazy web publishers willing to manipulate writers into working for free, or worse, working for rates so low they are insulting. I have had more than one web magazine/page publisher tell me that I should be grateful they offer to pay me $20 or $30 for an article at all, when there are so many writers out there willing to work for 'the publicity' and 'exposure' alone. Poppycock! Any writer dumb enough to work for non existent publicity isn't really a professional writer anyway, and the web site will get what it pays for, which is horrible, sloppy, error-filled copy that isn't worth reading. I have gotten a little work with a marketing company, and that has proven to be a nice learning experience, as I was able to learn to write press releases and gain some knowledge into that industry. And the woman I've been working for is a lovely person who pays me on time, which is refreshing, since I've had to beg editors of magazines to pay me for work I completed 6 months ago. The stress of sending out queries, resumes, letters to editors and soforth, and only getting a response one time out of 100 has been tremendous.
Which leads me to the state of my Crohns Disease, which is not good. I've been having bad Crohns flares now since May, at least 4 times a week, more when I stopped taking Nortryptaline at night because it causes heart palpitations. Without Nortryptaline, I had Crohns flares every day, twice a day, and that got old really fast. I don't like having to spend hours in pain, in the bathroom, tied to a toilet. So now that I am on my specialized food plan via WIO, I am eating more high fiber foods, and my spasming colon is wringing the life out of me every other day. I have to take pain pills just to function, which is no fun at all, and makes me depressed and tired. Yet I continue my struggle against fat every day, and I work out 5 to 6 times a week, and do my best to eat correctly, though I have to constantly be vigilant against my evil sweet tooth, which finds new ways to tempt me daily. I have learned that I cannot be trusted around sweets. I will eat them if they are there. I will over eat them if I can, and there is nothing in this world that will make me stop craving sugar and bread, except perhaps death (and even then, it wouldn't surprise me if I ended up in the angel bakery in heaven, snarfing down vegan cookies and cinnamon rolls). I know it isn't politically correct to say this, but I could live on bread and fruit and sugar and seafood. Other than soymilk, I wouldn't miss anything else, especially since I can't eat dairy, eggs, nuts and onions. It is really hard for me to eat low calorie multigrain bread that tastes like cardboard and makes me ill. It's harder to eat vegetables like spinach and broccoli that I know will hurt my colon like heck. It's harder still to not be able to eat oatmeal in any form, because I love the stuff, but it doesn't love my bowels. So losing this next 60 pounds is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, because I am going to have to get used to going hungry. I didn't have a problem with that 20 years ago, because after working out in the evening, I usually didn't feel like eating supper, and if I did, I wanted, at most, a small bowl of grapenuts and milk. My metabolism soared, I ate a mostly vegetarian diet of small amounts of breads/cereals and fruits, sometimes meats, and I was good. Now after I work out in the evening, I am starving, and supper is supposed to be my smallest meal of the day, low in carbs and fat. So each night I wrestle with frustration and hunger, and sometimes I win, while other times I lose and end up eating more than I should.
On the parental side of things, I am not certain when it happened, but my son has somehow morphed into this kid who is lazy and doesn't want to do anything but eat everything that isn't nailed down (especially if it is junk food or candy) and play video games or watch TV shows that are for teenagers, not for 9 year old boys. He was evaluated this week by an occupational therapist who basically said that his handwriting problem is due to his laziness, and though he could use some more shoulder and core strength (read: he needs to get out and exercise more often), she wasn't concerned about him needing any special help to learn to write and spell properly. We have to work with him every night on his writing and spelling, but the OT seemed to think it was merely his gender, and boys general lack of linguistic skills, or being late to come into those skills (vs girls) that was at fault for his illegible handwriting. It's also hard to get Nick to go to bed at night, and really hard to get him awake and dressed and fed in the morning. So Jim and I had a talk with Nick about being more responsible and growing up now that he's 9. Nick responded by retreating to his room and crying himself to sleep. Hence, I felt like the worlds crappiest mom, and the stress wasn't helpful in getting me to sleep, either. Nick is generally a good boy, he is bright, has a great sense of humor and is a loving person. He's just not easy to parent, and he becomes harder to work with the older he gets. I am not looking forward to the skirmishes of the teenage years at all. But on balance, I'd say I am a decent parent, and that as long as Nick doesn't turn out to be a serial killer, I will have done my job properly.
So far, I've gotten a snuggly blanket, flannel sheets and a gift card for a new waterproof coat for my birthday, so I will be warm, if nothing else, in the coming year. Here's hoping things are looking up for 2009.
Baring a midlife crisis, I am trying to actually reflect on where I have been, where I am going, what it all means and how I am doing right now, scorecard wise, on the human, parental, career and life scales.
First up for consideration, my weight loss this past year. While not stellar, as it was when I was 28, (100 pounds in a year) 45 pounds is nothing to sniff at. My legs, thighs, butt and hips are all looking pretty good. My face has slimmed down, too, and my arms aren't as wattled as they once were. Gravity has had its way with me in the last 20 years, however, and my sagging breasts and drooping belly are a testament to that. I am trying to accept them with as much grace as possible, but its still difficult to face the lack of firmness on my torso when I bust a gut with ab exercises 4 times a week or more. I know there are muscles under that chub, I can feel them when I work out, but they're not going to be evident until 60 pounds fall off my person. And I am impatient enough about that to have daydreams of liposuction.
Which brings me to why those daydreams will stay just dreams; the death of my career in journalism. In case you've been hiding under a rock all year (and I can't say I'd blame you if you did, this year has SUCKED, big time) you might not have read the gruesome daily reports of newspapers and magazines closing, downsizing staff, cutting paper size and frequency of print runs, and publishing houses going under with alarming regularity. In short, the economy stinks, we're in a lousy recession that feels more like the second 'great depression' and there are a LOT of people out of work, broke and without prospects for employment any time soon. So I should be grateful (and I am, really) that my husband has a job, that we have managed to hang onto our house by our fingernails, and that we are able to eat regularly. My Crohns medications are costing us a fortune each week, and our crappy insurance won't cover them for more than a month, so unless the pharmaceutical company decides to have mercy on us and allow us a deep discount on Pentasa, that financial hemorage isn't going to change, unfortunately. At any rate, this has been my worst year yet as a freelance writer/reporter. I have only worked on brief projects and one-time articles that have yielded me all of maybe a thousand dollars over the course of the year. The year prior I was able to get a couple of larger projects that saved the day, financially speaking, but this year legitimate freelance work has been hard to come by, though there have been hordes of scam artists and sleazy web publishers willing to manipulate writers into working for free, or worse, working for rates so low they are insulting. I have had more than one web magazine/page publisher tell me that I should be grateful they offer to pay me $20 or $30 for an article at all, when there are so many writers out there willing to work for 'the publicity' and 'exposure' alone. Poppycock! Any writer dumb enough to work for non existent publicity isn't really a professional writer anyway, and the web site will get what it pays for, which is horrible, sloppy, error-filled copy that isn't worth reading. I have gotten a little work with a marketing company, and that has proven to be a nice learning experience, as I was able to learn to write press releases and gain some knowledge into that industry. And the woman I've been working for is a lovely person who pays me on time, which is refreshing, since I've had to beg editors of magazines to pay me for work I completed 6 months ago. The stress of sending out queries, resumes, letters to editors and soforth, and only getting a response one time out of 100 has been tremendous.
Which leads me to the state of my Crohns Disease, which is not good. I've been having bad Crohns flares now since May, at least 4 times a week, more when I stopped taking Nortryptaline at night because it causes heart palpitations. Without Nortryptaline, I had Crohns flares every day, twice a day, and that got old really fast. I don't like having to spend hours in pain, in the bathroom, tied to a toilet. So now that I am on my specialized food plan via WIO, I am eating more high fiber foods, and my spasming colon is wringing the life out of me every other day. I have to take pain pills just to function, which is no fun at all, and makes me depressed and tired. Yet I continue my struggle against fat every day, and I work out 5 to 6 times a week, and do my best to eat correctly, though I have to constantly be vigilant against my evil sweet tooth, which finds new ways to tempt me daily. I have learned that I cannot be trusted around sweets. I will eat them if they are there. I will over eat them if I can, and there is nothing in this world that will make me stop craving sugar and bread, except perhaps death (and even then, it wouldn't surprise me if I ended up in the angel bakery in heaven, snarfing down vegan cookies and cinnamon rolls). I know it isn't politically correct to say this, but I could live on bread and fruit and sugar and seafood. Other than soymilk, I wouldn't miss anything else, especially since I can't eat dairy, eggs, nuts and onions. It is really hard for me to eat low calorie multigrain bread that tastes like cardboard and makes me ill. It's harder to eat vegetables like spinach and broccoli that I know will hurt my colon like heck. It's harder still to not be able to eat oatmeal in any form, because I love the stuff, but it doesn't love my bowels. So losing this next 60 pounds is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, because I am going to have to get used to going hungry. I didn't have a problem with that 20 years ago, because after working out in the evening, I usually didn't feel like eating supper, and if I did, I wanted, at most, a small bowl of grapenuts and milk. My metabolism soared, I ate a mostly vegetarian diet of small amounts of breads/cereals and fruits, sometimes meats, and I was good. Now after I work out in the evening, I am starving, and supper is supposed to be my smallest meal of the day, low in carbs and fat. So each night I wrestle with frustration and hunger, and sometimes I win, while other times I lose and end up eating more than I should.
On the parental side of things, I am not certain when it happened, but my son has somehow morphed into this kid who is lazy and doesn't want to do anything but eat everything that isn't nailed down (especially if it is junk food or candy) and play video games or watch TV shows that are for teenagers, not for 9 year old boys. He was evaluated this week by an occupational therapist who basically said that his handwriting problem is due to his laziness, and though he could use some more shoulder and core strength (read: he needs to get out and exercise more often), she wasn't concerned about him needing any special help to learn to write and spell properly. We have to work with him every night on his writing and spelling, but the OT seemed to think it was merely his gender, and boys general lack of linguistic skills, or being late to come into those skills (vs girls) that was at fault for his illegible handwriting. It's also hard to get Nick to go to bed at night, and really hard to get him awake and dressed and fed in the morning. So Jim and I had a talk with Nick about being more responsible and growing up now that he's 9. Nick responded by retreating to his room and crying himself to sleep. Hence, I felt like the worlds crappiest mom, and the stress wasn't helpful in getting me to sleep, either. Nick is generally a good boy, he is bright, has a great sense of humor and is a loving person. He's just not easy to parent, and he becomes harder to work with the older he gets. I am not looking forward to the skirmishes of the teenage years at all. But on balance, I'd say I am a decent parent, and that as long as Nick doesn't turn out to be a serial killer, I will have done my job properly.
So far, I've gotten a snuggly blanket, flannel sheets and a gift card for a new waterproof coat for my birthday, so I will be warm, if nothing else, in the coming year. Here's hoping things are looking up for 2009.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Metabolisms are UNFAIR
I've been contemplating why it is that I got stuck with a slower-than-molasses-in-January metabolism my whole life, when there are people out there who can eat well and all day long and not gain a pound.
Two examples that have crept up on me:
Michael Phelps, the Olympic swimming phenom, was being interviewed by Anderson Cooper on a news program last night. He sat down for lunch with Cooper, and ordered THREE full sized entrees. I assumed that he was going to share one with skinny old Cooper, but no, Cooper had to order his own because Phelps said he was hungry and was going to eat ALL three meals himself. He noted that the press has inflated the amount of calories he consumes per day to 12,000, when in reality he only eats anywhere from "8 to 10,000 calories a day, because if I don't, I can lose from 5 to 10 pounds a week." ARG! This, said with a complete deadpan delivery, like its the most normal thing in the world to consume over a weeks worth of calories in a day.
Of course, Phelps is tall, rippling with lean muscle, and all of 23 years old, and he swims laps all day when he's not out doing speeches or promoting some product and making millions.
But even if I swam continuously for 2.5 hours, I still wouldn't be able to eat 8,000 calories a day and not gain weight. If I even looked at two slices of white bread, toasted, with a dollop of all fruit jam and a cup of tea, my hips would explode with fat and my stretch marks expand exponentially.
I hate Michael Phelps and his speedy DSL metabolism! Damn it!
Second example, I was in QFC a couple of weeks ago, behind a skinny older gal with brassy dyed red hair (I say that as someone who dyes their hair dark red/brown every two weeks). She was buying 7 bottles of wine (yes, 7, I counted) three kinds of ham, a boutique butter from Ireland, some fancy cheese, croissants, those fancy chocolate laden granola bars that are really just candy bars with a little oatmeal in them, rice krispie treats, a pie and two pints of Hagen Daz ice cream. There were a couple of other things in there, but none of them even resembled a vegetable or raw fruit. She was holding a TWO POUND bag of M&Ms (plain)in her scrawny hand, and told the clerk to scan it so she could put it in her handbag and eat it on the way home. When I asked her if she was having a party, she said "No, this is for me, I'm just stocking up for the week." Let us pause for a moment and consider that this woman is going to dive into two pounds of chocolate on the way home, where she then plans to drink one bottle of wine a night for an entire week. And she will, doubtless, remain thin throughout this orgy of bad foods, and will probably outlive fat old me, though she appeared to be at least 7 years my senior.
It took everything I had not to smack her soundly right there in the grocery store.
Why is it fair that I can't even eat most chocolate now, because American chocolate is laden with dairy products that my colon won't tolerate, and some scrawny old weazel can just suck up pounds of the stuff along with liters of fine wine and not have to worry about her hips exploding exponentially?
@@#$$#%$#^#)+!(&*%^&#^@(#$!!!--(this is my way of cyber-swearing at the unfairness of it all).
I hated that woman for all of the 10 minutes it took her to pay for all her indulgences, get them packed into her cart and schlep out of the store.
I just want to be able to live on breads, fruit and soymilk, with the occasional vegan dessert or shrimp and pasta dish. Is that so wrong? I like veggies, they just don't seem to like me or my Crohns. But I could do without chicken or beef, and I can't eat eggs or nuts due to allergies, so I am left with a very limited choice of foods, and I have to say that the whole grain pastas and breads not only taste bad, they make their way through me way too fast. I love oatmeal, but that also swishes through me at lightening speed, as do the dried fruits (dried cherries, cranberries, raisins, apricots and dates are my favorites) that I love, but can't eat because they not only set my colon aflame, they add pounds to my personage.
It's unfair and it sucks, folks. Just wanted to be sure you caught the theme of my post.
Other than that, I've developed a cold, my nose is stuffy and my head aches. You'd think that would dampen my appetite, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong. I am still hungry, I am just tired now because I can't sleep well when my nose is blocked. And it's only December 1st! I have a whole month ahead of me where I get to skimp on carbs and try to dodge cold germs and rhino viruses.
Two examples that have crept up on me:
Michael Phelps, the Olympic swimming phenom, was being interviewed by Anderson Cooper on a news program last night. He sat down for lunch with Cooper, and ordered THREE full sized entrees. I assumed that he was going to share one with skinny old Cooper, but no, Cooper had to order his own because Phelps said he was hungry and was going to eat ALL three meals himself. He noted that the press has inflated the amount of calories he consumes per day to 12,000, when in reality he only eats anywhere from "8 to 10,000 calories a day, because if I don't, I can lose from 5 to 10 pounds a week." ARG! This, said with a complete deadpan delivery, like its the most normal thing in the world to consume over a weeks worth of calories in a day.
Of course, Phelps is tall, rippling with lean muscle, and all of 23 years old, and he swims laps all day when he's not out doing speeches or promoting some product and making millions.
But even if I swam continuously for 2.5 hours, I still wouldn't be able to eat 8,000 calories a day and not gain weight. If I even looked at two slices of white bread, toasted, with a dollop of all fruit jam and a cup of tea, my hips would explode with fat and my stretch marks expand exponentially.
I hate Michael Phelps and his speedy DSL metabolism! Damn it!
Second example, I was in QFC a couple of weeks ago, behind a skinny older gal with brassy dyed red hair (I say that as someone who dyes their hair dark red/brown every two weeks). She was buying 7 bottles of wine (yes, 7, I counted) three kinds of ham, a boutique butter from Ireland, some fancy cheese, croissants, those fancy chocolate laden granola bars that are really just candy bars with a little oatmeal in them, rice krispie treats, a pie and two pints of Hagen Daz ice cream. There were a couple of other things in there, but none of them even resembled a vegetable or raw fruit. She was holding a TWO POUND bag of M&Ms (plain)in her scrawny hand, and told the clerk to scan it so she could put it in her handbag and eat it on the way home. When I asked her if she was having a party, she said "No, this is for me, I'm just stocking up for the week." Let us pause for a moment and consider that this woman is going to dive into two pounds of chocolate on the way home, where she then plans to drink one bottle of wine a night for an entire week. And she will, doubtless, remain thin throughout this orgy of bad foods, and will probably outlive fat old me, though she appeared to be at least 7 years my senior.
It took everything I had not to smack her soundly right there in the grocery store.
Why is it fair that I can't even eat most chocolate now, because American chocolate is laden with dairy products that my colon won't tolerate, and some scrawny old weazel can just suck up pounds of the stuff along with liters of fine wine and not have to worry about her hips exploding exponentially?
@@#$$#%$#^#)+!(&*%^&#^@(#$!!!--(this is my way of cyber-swearing at the unfairness of it all).
I hated that woman for all of the 10 minutes it took her to pay for all her indulgences, get them packed into her cart and schlep out of the store.
I just want to be able to live on breads, fruit and soymilk, with the occasional vegan dessert or shrimp and pasta dish. Is that so wrong? I like veggies, they just don't seem to like me or my Crohns. But I could do without chicken or beef, and I can't eat eggs or nuts due to allergies, so I am left with a very limited choice of foods, and I have to say that the whole grain pastas and breads not only taste bad, they make their way through me way too fast. I love oatmeal, but that also swishes through me at lightening speed, as do the dried fruits (dried cherries, cranberries, raisins, apricots and dates are my favorites) that I love, but can't eat because they not only set my colon aflame, they add pounds to my personage.
It's unfair and it sucks, folks. Just wanted to be sure you caught the theme of my post.
Other than that, I've developed a cold, my nose is stuffy and my head aches. You'd think that would dampen my appetite, wouldn't you? But you'd be wrong. I am still hungry, I am just tired now because I can't sleep well when my nose is blocked. And it's only December 1st! I have a whole month ahead of me where I get to skimp on carbs and try to dodge cold germs and rhino viruses.
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