First, Stacy of FatGirl Speaks has redesigned her web site to become Bellies are Beautiful. Here's the URL http://www.belliesarebeautiful.com/
Second, I've gained 20 pounds now that I am 6 months out from my stricture-removing intestinal surgery due to Crohn's Disease. I believe part of that is due to the cortisone I was given after surgery to reduce swelling, and part of it is from eating at night while I watch TV, my only alone time, when I can relax because my husband and son are in bed asleep. I tend to eat carbs because these are cheap and readily available. There has also been an enormous amount of stress with our continually failing finances, and my inability to get work as a journalist, or even get an interview for local part time work. Add to that medical bills from the surgery and the bowel obstruction prior to the surgery and you can imagine how my upholstered belly has added stuffing.
Still, I've been exercising religiously 5 to 6 days a week at my favorite gym, Work it Out Women's Fitness in Maple Valley, and though I move slower and seem to have less energy to complete the exercises, I press on with the stubborn determination of an Iowa farmers grand daughter who learned early on that the only real failure is quitting or giving up. At least twice a week I take two classes, back to back, so I feel that helps add muscle mass and hopefully boost my metabolism from the basement it has fallen into due to the advance of menopause and my age (I'll be 49 next month).
Though I feel ungainly and positively porcine, I've been trying to focus on my family, because I know that my husband and son love me just as I am, bulges and all. I've also been trying to be brave about avoiding one food item that I know I shouldn't eat every time I am in the grocery store. Sometimes that means avoiding a package of vegan cookies, and other times it means buying boring cereal instead of frosted corn flakes.
It's a simple thing, but one that has meaning for me.
Yeserday I had some edamame (parboiled salted soybeans) for a snack, along with an apple and soynut butter, and I felt virtuous for the rest of the afternoon. While I know that one snack or one meal doesn't make that much of a difference if I am going to stuff my face with several servings of soda crackers at 11 pm, it still means that I've not completely fallen off the wagon, and I won't end up back where I started, at 270 pounds again anytime soon.
I don't want to go hungry, or gag down more protein (I am really not a fan of protein as a food group; I could live on fruit and bread alone) or eat only tasteless whole grains and raw vegetables that set off my Crohn's disease, but I do want to work my way back to trying to control my portions and not eat as much sugar, which is my main dietary weakness. I am not sure how to accomplish that goal, but now that I have it in writing, I will have to figure something out.
Meanwhile, I am thankful that, unlike many women with Crohns or colitis, I still have most of my guts intact, and they obviously work fairly well at absorbing nutrients and keeping me from starvation or vitamin deficiency. I may look like the Kung Fu Panda, but like him, I've got style and I'm a tough fighter who loves life and enjoys finding creative solutions to problems that present themselves. As long as there is breath, there is hope.
