Quick Belly Ruminations

I've lost another 5-6 pounds, so now I am down 55 pounds, hurrah!
I took the Sparkpeople advice from my last post and I went through my closet and tried everything on, discarding the stuff that was too big. I ended up with two garbage bags full of clothing and a half empty closet! I have to admit I was also going through my closet to try and find something to wear to yesterday's All Access Pass event, sponsored by the local chapter of the SPJ, society of professional journalists.
I tried on my much loved pleather pants that I bought at Lane Bryant years ago, and always felt I looked hot in, and they were so huge on me that I couldn't keep them up around my waist...as they puddled on the floor, I reflected on the end of an era in my body's life. I am creeping up on 50 in the next two years, and I know that I should be letting go of the need to feel sexy and attractive to the opposite sex.
I am a married woman with a child who will soon be taller than his mom, so you know I've had time to get used to being matronly and sexless.
Unfortunately, the more muscle I build, and the more I can feel the fat melting off my bones and muscles and sinew, the more waves of passion seem to crash over me, and I find myself looking at men like a ravening lioness looks at a juicy Thompsons gazelle.
And I have nowhere for those feelings to go, as my husband is not interested. Insert huge gusty sighs here.
But that doesn't mean I will give up and go back to hibernating under my thick padded comforter of fat. Not going to happen. I've worked too hard 6 to 7 days a week at the gym to give up now.
Still, I wonder if it is worth it sometimes, merely from a looking good on the outside perspective. I have no one to look good for but myself. I don't like the kind of shallow people who only look at outsides anyway. I prefer people who think, have more than a modicum of smarts/wit and who wrestle with their souls to find life's answers. Not that I don't like looking at handsome, even gorgeous men. There's nothing like a little eye candy now and then to remind you why humans are still a renewable resource.
But its the smart guys, the charming, brilliant, manly guys who get to me every time.
At any rate, I was delighted to discover that my bib overalls, which used to be so tight I had to stuff myself in them, are now loose and roomy and fun to wear for this old Iowan. I also found a pair of black yoga pants to wear with my too large black velvet shirt, and I think I pulled off a halfway decent look for the All Access Pass event...at least no one shouted "GEEK ALERT" when I walked by. I found myself briefly flirting with a scruffy journalist and had to laugh at myself for enjoying the moment so much. I sometimes feel so isolated as a freelancer that when I do get together with my brethren, I get a little too excited at all the energy and ideas flowing around.
Yet it was a hopeful, good evening that made me feel a little less lonely, and a little more normal.
Now I just need to get that somber, sober matronly thing down to a science before the next 40 pounds come off.